July 30
bigtips
She wears headphones everywhere, all the time
by M.T. "the Big Tipper" Marione
My baby's got bad teeth. I mean, they're shiny and fresh as an acre of mint, but she's got a few that are not mindful of the honor it is to live in her oh-so-tasty mouth, and lately they've been biting back.
So it was with great enthusiasm that I put her down to be coinsured on my employer's dental insurance. Sure, it said "spouse," and asked for the legal date of the marriage, but since that doesn't technically apply, I just wrote down what we consider our anniversary, and waited for the card to show up.
Mine did, but where was hers? After a few months of the usual start-up confusion, I got a call to the Money Lady's office, and she told me that our insurance company wouldn't cover nonmarried partners, and that a guy with whom I work had asked for coverage for his girlfriend, but that didn't fly either.
I very politely asked her why a small, progressive company would choose an insurer who wouldn't offer equal coverage to its employees? Well, that's just the way insurance companies are, if you don't have a company with over 100 employees, blah, blah, blah.
So, I walked next door to the Big Guy's office, and told him that our insurer wouldn't cover my partner. To which he said, "I was waiting for this to come up. Our insurer is terribly conservative. We'll change companies."
Two days later he announced the prospective change to the staff, upon which there was great rejoicing, as apparently, many of us are "living in sin." Then there was a great symbolic consumption of tooth-rottin' sugary snacks.
It's rarely this easy, but don't you think we should ask every time, just in case it is?
Dear Tip,
My girlfriend wears her Walkman headphones everywhere. All the time.
Exercising, I understand. While she's working on the apartment, or just relaxing, I also understand. But she wears them while she's riding her bike, and when she drives (no radio in the car). She wears them in the tub, and sometimes I wake up in the morning to the buzz on the pillow, because she fell asleep with them on. Yesterday, I walked in the living room, and she was watching TV, but she had her headphones on.
We do talk, but sometimes it just wears me out psychically to think of all that noise going into her head, 24-7. What kind of relationship can we have?
Phone-y Baloney
Dear Tuned Out,
What the heck is she listening to? Does she have some sort of public radio problem, like a crush on Terry Gross?
Here's how good my business acumen is: When Walkmans first came out, and I saw
EO
BIG TIPS
everyone wandering around with those little orange puffs on their ears, I thought, those will never make it. They're too stupid looking to wear outdoors, and they're dangerous to listen to while you're out running or biking. (Sigh. I didn't buy Microsoft early, either. Where's the surprise?)
I guess I couldn't imagine, say, black foam, or the magic of a 12-hour train ride with your own personal soundtrack. But your girlfriend sounds like she's managing something with all of that sound.
Is she really shy? The headphones protect her from having to engage with people. Does she have trouble sleeping? They may lull her
THE CHOSEN FAMILY
Must kill Cathy.. must kill
Cathy...
CAMBR
to sleep without keeping you awake. Is she depressed? The constant stimulation may just keep her from spacing out and losing her focus. Is her hearing bad? Headphones can shoot that sound straight into her head, and also protect her from having to deal with not understanding what real people around her are saying.
Ask her. And if she doesn't think she has a problem, you just need to decide if you want to go out with someone who's a walking radio. Good luck.
Dear Big Tipper,
I have found myself in a weird situation. I have been out to my family and friends for years, and although I'm not the kind of guy you'd automatically pick out at a distance as gay, the people in my life have known for quite a while, and I'm used to them knowing.
I've recently made friends with a straight couple who just started going to my church. I didn't even think about having to come out to them until they asked me if I had a girlfriend.
I was surprised, but I'm not a big talker, so I just answered truthfully, no. Now they've started talking about a friend of theirs, a woman, that they want me to meet, since we're both so nice.
I feel like I've led them on, or lied, but I
didn't mean to, and now I feel like I'm going to embarrass them if I say anything. I enjoy spending time with them, but I feel like this has gotten out of hand very quickly. What should I do?
Didn't Mean to Lie
Dear But In Effect You Did,
Hmm. You could meet this woman they want to introduce to you, marry her, and bear children to avoid the embarrassment of confronting this situation.
Or, you could just suck it up and say, "You know, it just occurred to me last night that when you offered to introduce your friend to me, you were trying to fix me up. I'd love to meet any good friend of yours, but I don't date women. If you have any nice unattached male friends, feel free to send them my way."
It sounds like it's early enough in your friendship with them to have this kind of misunderstanding and laugh it off. If they'd trust you with one of their good women friends, they must really like you.
Burning questions? Contact me at the Chronicle, attention Big Tips, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101, or fax to 216-631-1052, or e-mail to martone@drizzle.com.
Noreen Stevens.
by
What a You are workout!! Sweating on my newspaper
What have you got against exercise anyway??
I have a
theory
The idea is to be healthy and prolong life, right?
Right
about exercise...
I dunno.... If I exercised an hour Multiply that by...
d
For how a year? day it would add long? .. two years? up to 2 weeks each year...
This math is 100 killing
Net
Say 50 years
and
what do You get?
gain...
zero!!
weeks
me!!
een Stevens 1998
Two Years!!
"So I placed an ad in the Gay People's Chronicle classifieds and found a roommate instantly!"
Place an ad in the
GAY PEOPLE'S
Chronicle
Classifieds.
216-631-8646